Irony of ironies, when I used to live in Boston, my New Yorkers arrived smartly on Mondays or Tuesdays. Now I live in Brooklyn and I wait until Friday or Saturday or later to get the week's issue, by which time I have usually stolen my girlfriend's and/or had the big stories spoiled for me by friends and blogs. Customer service is not sympathetic to my plight. Clearly, customer service is not actually a New Yorker reader, or she would understand the agony of watching the world spin in knowledge far ahead of her.
I haven't quite had the post-election crash I expected, but nor did I experience election jubilation. I felt flat all night. I shy away from reading "where were you then" posts 'round the web, as they are all full of people's joy and tears. I haven't managed to cry about it yet. Now and then I try to, but it hasn't quite worked. My mom said when she woke up on November 5 she felt like an American for the first time in her life. Considering her German citizenship was rudely and traumatically stripped from her over the summer, this is good news.
Two Bs and I went to see Amy Ray last night. It has been a bumper fall for me in terms of concerts. Tegan & Sara at Terminal 5; Amy Ray at the Bowery Ballroom; Julianna Hatfield, same; Lucinda Williams, at Madison Square Garden (no not THE Garden, some auxiliary venue). I would be hard-pressed to pick my favorite; they were all enthralling in their own ways (except for Julianna Hatfield, whom I could have done without, even though one of the Bs and I gave it our best shot). But Lucinda Williams is a prophet living in our time. Some bigger-than-human voice is speaking through her songs.
At the Amy Ray concert for a moment I looked right and left and thought to myself, hey, you're doing it. Consuming, demanding job, and look, I can have friends and go with them to cultural events too.
But oh, how grinding and awful midtown was today, is everyday. The 4/5/6 could not be more stuffed, the air could not be more choked with exhaust. It's all pharmacies and Starbuckses (whose profits, I am so happy to hear, are down 97% this quarter).
Apparently, change is ahead at work. Apparently in order to usher in change one must hire a consultant to help one vision and pay her lots of money. It is frightening when what you have longed for is given to you. It can be the biggest psychological manipulation you ever asked for. It is like Sarah Schulman says: it's nice when people are non-homophobic, but the fact that some people are homophobic and some people are not means that gay people are constantly guessing what kind of treatment they're going to get. The mind-fucking of gauging when you're safe and when you're in danger is still flaring in the background. In a way, it's easier when you can just leave your defenses up. (I don't think she makes the conclusion, but I will.)
Lucinda is just not nearly good enough through my crappy computer speakers (picked up from the sidewalk in front of 3 Sac Place lo these many years ago). She deserves to be live every time.
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