The truth about fingernails

I've been thinking about fingernails recently, and I have a question that I really want answered (imagine now I'm Carrie Bradshaw looking pensive, tilting my head just slightly as I type away):

Can you masturbate with long fingernails?

It is said that you can tell a lesbian by her short fingernails (and I'll come back to this point).  But can you tell a non-masturbating woman by her long fingernails?  I'd like to believe that manicures simply drive up vibrator sales, or encourage more masturbatory creativity.  But I think we know that the reality is far more bleak.  Long fingernails are like chastity belts for straight women who masturbate.  Not to mention that it's hard to do a lot of stuff, like touch things, with them. 

You're going to think I'm hopelessly naive.  But a few weeks ago I had a little epiphany about this.  I started thinking about all of the women I know and don't know who have long nails.  Was this a sign that all of these women didn't ever venture into the vast and pleasurable realm of self-love?  It was as if someone had pulled a big curtain away from my eyes.  I know that the large majority of American women don't masturbate.  I don't think I'm under any misconceptions about that.  But it's something about the unabashed visibility of chastity-belted-fingers that makes it all so depressing. Not only do millions of women not masturbate, but they flaunt it!  That's how little it matters!

And the whole "lesbians have short fingernails" thing is a fascinating twist to this entire question.  Why is it that we all agree that of course lesbians have short fingernails, because they need easy access, but it's assumed that straight women don't?  Aren't we all, at the end of the day, dealing with the same equipment?

Long fingernails are appealing in many cultures and to women of different backgrounds.  They span class, race, and nationality.  Third wave feminists, and/or choice feminists would argue that if women feel sexy and empowered by their long nails, then they should go for it.  But how much are we just letting culture run all over feminism when we say that?  Can't we just call a spade a spade and patriarchy, patriarchy?   

This is not to say that cutting nails should be the answer to everyone's problems.  Nor even that a 'liberated' woman must have short nails.  Everyone's liberation is not cut from the same cloth.  But can't we accept this simple fact, that everyone's liberation doesn't look the same, and still have some basic tenets to stand on?   I think masturbation is a great place start.  But maybe that's just me.

Comments

[Lauren]

I completely skipped over the topic of masturbation. with my long nails I have no problem masturbating by rubbing my clit, but I've noticed when I rub inside myself that my nail rubs against something inside me, like its roughly rubbing against it. It's actually why I searched the topic of finger nails, and has made me wonder how women go about it.

[Lauren]

Haha. Yeah I've been a horrid nail biter for years and my grandma would always get angry at me, "That's not lady like!" I've never thought of it as being associated with lesbianism, but more so psychological issues. I don't think I'm a basket case, I just get bored at times and it keeps me occupied. Lately I've allowed 6 of my finger nails to start growing, mainly because of job interviews. I've really noticed that it doesn't matter how professonal you look, short fingernails can completely contradict the professional appearance. Surprisingly I have not bitten the 6 nails, but have been biting the 4 others. I figured I might as well start somewhere and then move on from there. I'm gradually getting more on top of it, and actually like my long nails. I agree they are empowering and more feminist. I find myself running my thumb over the tips of them, and like how they make my fingers appear thinner and longer. It's amusing because some people have never had a nail biting problem so their nails are not important to them, but I occasionally bring up the topic with my close friends, showing them the progress I have been making.

[rob]

I just started growing my fingernails after four long years of biting. the problem is whenever I start growing them I just don't have the heart to cut them ( I mean I am really afraid to cut them. I get sick just thinking about cutting them. I just can't cut them )
I know guys should'nt have long nails but I just can't help my self.
It's been three weeks now and there starting to get pretty long. what should I do ( let them grow long so that I can't start biting them again or just go back to biting them again) I really feel good about myself because I have stopped this very bad habit of mine.
I have tried keeping them short but it just doesn't help,I always go back to biting them.

[Celeste]

It occurs to me that there's actually a lot of writing and dialogue in the femme-power lesbian scene about fucking with fingernails. Femme doesn't necessarily signify "bottom" in the bedroom; femme-femme couples prove the point. Despite jokes to the contrary, you can actually fuck another woman - and, i would imagine, yourself - with long nails. (Practically, it would seem that gloves and/or finger cots can go a ways toward protection from damage.)

[mich]

i am becoming increasingly curious about how many woman DON'T masturbate. this is troublesome.
and as a life-long nail biter, there's really no question that i would ever trade in talons for touching. or if i did opt for long nails, creativity would ensue.

to respond to maddy - i think long fingernails are a weapon in themselves! you can seriously hurt someone's eye socket, for instance.

[bixi chicks]

"Can't we just call a spade a spade and patriarchy, patriarchy?" wooo! What a great line!

I remember being proud of my short fingernails when I was a middle-school girl, because they signalled to me that I rode horses, played piano, and played basketball (you need short fingernails for all three). Little did I know then that someday my short fingernails would service me and a few lucky others (haha) in a whole new way!

It's a sign of vulnerability to reveal your body's needs (which is why I'm always involuntarily and slightly erotically drawn to people taking desperate sips of coffee on their way to a meeting) and a sign of invulnerability to deny them (which is why wearing obviously painful shoes makes women seem powerful). Maybe the same thing goes with masturbation? Long fingernails prove to the public how much control a woman has over her baser urges? Of course, this analysis must be slightly askew, because women gain so much "power" these days looking like they love sex above all else. But a woman doing it for herself, as they say, is always hard for the patriarchy to swallow.

[maddy]

You know who else has short fingernails? Guitar players.

Long fingernails have always fascinated me because they look vicious--they are essentially stylized claws--and they hurt people. I remember getting scratched by my grandmother's fingernails when I was a wee child and, despite her profuse apologies, wondering why, if she really loved me, she would keep those awful stiletto blades on her fingertips. I guess it's part of the "sharp woman" aesthetic: pointy shoes, pointy heels, jutting hips, pointy boobs, gouged cheeks, heavily drawn eyebrows, prominent canines... And I think that whatever else may be said against long fingernails, particularly with regard to one's serviceability to others, one must not underestimate their erotic value to the willing wearer. Perhaps a day spent wearing long fingernails brings him or her as much net pleasure as a quickie before bed. Perhaps there's a heightened joy to be gotten out of sublimation. I enjoy that thought.

What worries me is that the wearer of long fingernails, however vicious she appears, is in practice less capable of throwing a punch or otherwise defending herself should the need occur. For that she must carry actual weapons, and be therefore actually vicous.